Not This Mess Again?!

They say you live and you learn from the day to day things that happen in your life. I say I must be learning a lot when it comes to my love life because I tend to always go through it. You ever date someone who you thought could be the one, but, they didn’t think that you were the one, soooo, they played dead instead and ghosted you? Then you have the other one who thinks the world of you, but, unfortunately, you’re not so sure of them either, because of their unwillingness to tell you the real deal regarding their feelings? One exudes more confidence than an ugly man tryna holla at you in the club and the other one seems too afraid to really tell you how he feels about you. See, confidence doesn’t seem to high here.

Like I’m a Taurus, (and I’m not saying that has anything to do with anything buuuttt) I don’t want to feel as if I can push over any individual or have anyone try and manipulate me. I need to feel the same confidence or energy that I am bringing to the table from that other person. You know someone who can match my positive vibes. I, also, need to feel or know a person’s intentions from the get go. I don’t want any kind of questions going through my head about what someone is trying to do to me. Like do you love me or nah? Are we a couple? Yes or no? It’s just that simple with me. I like the simple things in life. Not the complications or the drama. And dammit keep those situationships Over. Damn. There.

Anyways, I feel like in this day and age, and you can correct me if I’m wrong, but these days it seems that some men expect women to do all of this chasing. Well, I’m sorry to say this, but, if you expect me to chase you… alone…then you may as well know that I will be walking. Cuz, I ain’t chasin nobody. Matter of fact, you might wanna be sure to look back from time to time to make sure my tail didn’t go back in the house.

When it comes to me and relationships, I feel like there should be some kind of mutual attraction to one another, which means, we are both pursuing each other. Not this unrequited love mess. Take me back to the old school days, any day, when you used to play Mash and write notes…Like, I like you; do you like me? But in the grown up kinda way. Not this, Imma just send you mixed signals and stuff to have you all messed up in your head. Talking about, “Does he like me? Are we even together? Why is he even here?” See, just confused.

Basically, that, in my opinion, is how someone, like me, ends up thinking that the other person is just not interested in me and/or they are just here to play games.

So, back to the reason for my story. Y’all, why did my past decide to make a grand entrance the other day? He came back like Eddie Cane Junior did on the movie The Five Heartbeats…singing… nights like this, I wish…(Emmm hmmm you know the rest. If you don’t, then watch the movie) It started with one measly text.

Yeah, the dead has arisen. When I saw Casper’s text on my birthday and then again on the next day, I just knew it was gone be some mess. Now, I knew that when I saw his text I should have responded with a, “Nah, homeboy, not today!” But, I admit it, I was curious to know why he was even back so I engaged in the conversation. Alright, now, you judgemental people, go ahead and throw your stones. I’ll take it. I know it was dumb of me to talk back to him, but, you how it is when you feel that this time your eyes are wide open. Yeah, like now we are playing chess and I can see the board clearly. Now, trust and believe, that he is still at a distance with me, but in the distant kind of way where he is talkin to me as if there was a door there with the latch still on it. Yeah, that kinda distance. I guess you could say that I always knew that he was bound to pop back up in my life some kinda way, but dangit, doesn’t the past always know when to show up just when you are getting good and forgetful? I mean, I was just getting adjusted to his absence.

So, here is what I got to read (and forgive me now because I will be adding verbiage)

Life is short so I’m just going to say it. I miss you…

(oh, Lawwwd, y’all it’s been about 8 months since I heard from this man…I personally thought that he had deleted my number. Ok, continue on…) I hope you have been doing well. I just wanted you to know that I will always love me some you? Never want you to believe or think different. I value you, I adore you and I miss your smile.

(Is that how we treat grown folks these days that we “value” and “adore”? Is that what we are doing now? I’m just saying…teach me something new here.) Okay, Imma stop right here? There was more to this note, but, I’m just not gonna entertain all of that. Just know I kept it light and simple from there. Guard is up!

People, you’re gonna have to explain this one to me. Why do some people act as if we are on the playground? We are too grown to be playing like we are on the monkey bars with folks. You just can’t swing over here and then swing back when the options are no longer there. Someone please give me the top 5 reasons why you think people go/come back. I’m taking notes with pen and pad in hand.

I mean, after 8 months or so of not speaking to each other,  wouldn’t you think that bridge was burned already? See, this is why I remain in my single state. There are just too many people out here not looking for real love, but instead, are playing all kinds of mind games with you. They’re playin, Monopoly, Uno, and Gin Rummy with your heart.

Nope, I’m just not fallin for those lies anymore.

Where are all of the real people in this world who knows what & WHO they want? Throw in some intelligence, goals, and honesty or something and we’re good. Real easy, right? Not today it seems.

Maybe, I need to travel the world like Stella did and just go somewhere to get my groove back…because this here dating world is wearing me out.

//Signed//

Netflixologist

Y’all, I think I can say that Coron-ta has made me a documentary queen of Netflix. I have watched documentary after documentary nonstop. It is crazy…before, when I had to travel to work, I would look at the TV and be like “ooh a box with colors.” Now, I can’t wait to get off of this work computer to say “oooh, I wonder who did it?”

And to think that it all started with the Tiger King documentary. Then there was the documentary about the two women who mishandled drugs while working as lab agents or shall I say one was smoking the drugs while the other one was lying for some money. I’ve watched the shows about crossfit and body builders (BTW, those men and women are huge). I’ve even watched the documentaries on marathons. Basically, if it looks interesting, then, you best believe that I’m watching it.

I don’t discriminate. They are all interesting to me. Some of this stuff will leave you amazed at some of the things that people have done. Could you say that I may have killed off some of my brain cells? Probably…But, hey, I’m learning stuff every day. Haha, for instance, Carol, like OJ, did it, ๐Ÿคจ yeap, with sardine juice and all. Fed that man right up to her tigers. Yes, she did.

I’ve learned that Lil Bam bam and Dun Dun are the worst street names ever and for a coke and some food they’ll snitch on Pookie faster than Superman. I’ve also learned that watching hoarders makes me wanna clean up my house. Listen, if any of my friend became a hoarder, just know that I could not stomach the cleanup (hell nah, you can keep that one!) So, Alex, I’ll take the, You know I’m not helping you clean up your messy house, right? for $200. Emm mmm, I ain’t doin that.

So, let’s just say that we may have a problem here, when it’s time for me to go back to work. Shoot, who’s going back to work? Not me…at least not in the first round of folks who head back in. Nah, I’m good right here. Lol Give me my wine and let me say my occasional “What the hell is that” line and I’m good.

P.S. I’m convinced that once all of this is over, we are gonna need to find us a special place for our addictions…mmm hmm we sure will. It will cover Amazon addicts all the way to…um, hold up, Amazon shoppers, yes, you’re in this center for help, too. You’re not dismissed from this conversation because we all know that because of Coron-ta your porches have become a porch pirates fantasy…

Yep, so come on through all you fellow addicts. You may as well get ready to call these folks with me. Their number is 1-800-GetYoLife. Get help today, don’t wait. ๐Ÿค”

//Signed//

I might have a problem. ๐Ÿ˜‚

Quarantined Birthday

May 17th turned out to be a beautiful day. I must say. The sun was shining and everything was peace.

A beautiful day for my beautiful birthday. I ran 3 miles today and did some Zumba Strong. Then, I ate some good food with my parents and then sat back and enjoyed a duo call with my friends. Then low and behold I heard from an old friend who I thought I would never hear from ever again. Gave me a bit of anxiety at first but I got over it.

See, have you ever had that one person who walked into your life that you just knew would be the love of your life one day only to have nothing ever happen so you have to dissolve the situation because you knew that it was never going to go anywhere? Then once the realization hits you it’s at the point where you both just stopped talking to each other. No more conversations. We basically ghosted each other. Is that just me? Yeah, my life. Well, Casper knows how to text, I guess. He made sure to say Happy Birthday. Now, Evil Lynn side of me was like um…naw, fall back to were you came from and what do you want? But the nice side of me said, “hey, just be polite and keep it moving. You were bound to cross his mind a time or two…I mean, just because you don’t see a star doesn’t mean that you will ever forget what the star looked like, right?”

We come into people’s life for a reason. It’s either for a lifetime or a season. But either way you are expected to live and learn from it all. I learned that even though that didn’t work out, there are other people out there who are capable of loving me back and aren’t afraid to show me that they appreciate me. I must say that when you stop focusing on the ones who don’t deserve you, you tend to find the ones who do. They are the ones who really see you and he definitely sees me for me. ‘Preciate his effort.

Other than that, I definitely enjoyed my birthday and the laughter that was had. 42 years young y’all….

Air hugs and kisses.

JJ ๐Ÿฆ‹

Chill Mode

I just love the days when I get moments where I can sit here and just enjoy a peaceful bit of silence in my own little space. It’s a rainy Saturday and I am making it a point to relax and listen to some tunes. This also means that I will be singing out loud in my house for all to hear. Today’s song selections will come from my slow jam playlist. I am winding down for the day and I want to set my mood for doing just that…

Some of the songs on my “My Love” Playlist

  1. Fall For You – Snoh Aalegra
  2. Love Song – IV Jay
  3. I Love You – Faith Evans
  4. You Give Good Love – Whitney Houston
  5. Love of My Life – Erykah Badu
  6. Steady Love – India Arie
  7. Honesty – Pink Sweat$
  8. U Deserve – Ne-Yo
  9. You & I – Avant
  10. He Loves Me – Jill Scott

Well, I’m going to sit back and enjoy my lazy Saturday with these slow jams and this rain. Sounds like a Moscato night to me. So, these kids are just going to have to enjoy a pizza tonight because I’m in the best chill mode and I am not even caring. I tell you what, though…One of these day, whenever that love of my life decides to stop pushing on that pull door, he is going to be able to hear all of these jams too, but, in the meantime, I’ll just sit back and sing to my hearts content to my imaginary love.

//Signed//

Someone’s Momma Who’s Taking a Break

Birthday Rolling Up in 3…2…1

In 3 short days, I will officially be 42 years of age. I don’t know what I am goin to do on Sunday…sit on one side of the couch then move to the other. Maybe, I’ll sip some wine and look at the beautiful sky. Who knows…but I feel it’s only fitting to put some memes out here to just giggle a little about aging gracefully because I do it so well. Haha #QuarantinedBirthday

Whacked Out Wednesday

Let me tell you something that I noticed about myself today.

I am a very talented person and I’m a tell you why I think so. So, I am on the treadmill this morning and I received a text from a friend. Do you know that I held a full on conversation with this person my whole run???? Yeap! I was texting and running. It was amazing. Of course I kept the natural swing going with the Garmin watch because um I need my steps, but, I was in a zone.

I have got to be the most talented person known to man to be able to to do that! I mean today was like the easiest run that I have ever had. I didn’t focus on the time or the run just responding to my friend was the goal. Crazy, huh? Yeah, totally crazy!

Then, and I mean THEN of course my Garmin watch tried to butt in on me. That thing tried to konk out on me at the end of the run! If you ever have a moment where you are running and your watch stops working at the end of said run. You will bout flip a gasket. You will be saying stuff like..Mother of a Goose, Fraggle Rock! What the Fudge! (Because I’m trying to stop cursing as much!) I mean, Really, Garmin?! No the hell you didn’t! Yeah, I had to really calm myself down. Then it came back on and I was like Woooooh Chillllleeee! That was not going to be a good look for me there. Okay!

But, that’s what I get for caking with someone on the phone. Wasn’t paying attention…Just grinnin and runnin emmm hmmm.

Jeanna,

Get

Yo

Life,

All

The

Way

Together!

Me: Nope, I will not!

Any who, I did finish my run though. 4.25 miles/ 1:00:52 (14:09 pace)

YEAH! I just finished 1 round of the David Goggins’ 4x4x48 Challenge! Someone tell him that he has nothing on me! And I mean NOTHING…okay, WAYMENT people. Do NOT tell him that! Because I am NOT doing any crazy 4x4x48 challenge. Hell to the naw. Those people are caaarrrrazzzyyy. Shoot, no way am I out there running 4 miles every 4 hours in 48 hours. That’s okay, David. I’m good with where my life is at…

Hell, I need my sleep. I wish you would wake me up at some odd hour of the night to go for a run. I will cut you. Wait, is there food involved after this???No…Prepare to get hemmed up. hahahahahaha

Take care everybody and don’t do anything that I would do.

  • JJ

Motivational Monday

Today’s motivational Monday iiiiaaas brought to you by the Jiggly Arms and Bouncing Belly, Inc. Where you are sure to feel them the entire run. They are always by your side or on your side.

You know sometimes when I run, I have to say that my thoughts are sometimes all over the place.

For instance, I noticed that the back of my arms or that tricep area that everyone talks about likes to flap around like two big ol’ wings. I think that I am going to fly away one of these day. Sometimes, I’ll get lost in my run because I’ll start focusing on the feel of how my arms are flapping back there. Like 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2 Then I stop myself and say, um that is one way to get lost in the moment. No amount of weights are gonna bring that loose skin back in. You wanna good laugh. Just raise your arms and start shaking them back and forth in the mirror. Then add in a song. I always sing…If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, hmmm hmmm hmmm or something like that. I don’t know the song. You’ll laugh every time. Because you are just standing there looking goofy flapping your arms away in the mirror.

Then I try to focus on sucking in my gut while running. That only leads to me feeling like I am one breath away from passing out. There is no holding in all of this belly. Yeah, I’ve embraced and accepted this life long pregnancy. Oh right, you didn’t know? I’ve been about 5 months pregnant for about 12 years now. Stomach is just holding on. hahaha I think God knows that if he shrunk this belly of mines that I would NOT know how to act….Just be out there with half shirts on and stuff talking about look at my 10 pack abs. Yeah, He said, “Nope…Have a seat, Jeanna.” and you know what? I’m not one to be disobedient so I’ll have a seat. LOL

So, anyways, I finished the 2.32 miles today in a whopping 30:15 minutes. Yeaaasss, I’m lil bit fit.

#HappyMonday

JJ